Wednesday, October 21, 2015


Hi there,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the George FORMAN GRILL for $15

One thing that bothers me about buying new kitchen equipment is that the picture on the box is always so artificial. For example there is a similar product, The George Foreman Grill, that is available. On the box of this product you see the picture below. This is obviously not the natural setting for such an item. However, you my friend, have managed to capture the item in what is clearly its natural setting. Like Jane Goodall you have sacrificed the comforts of normal life to find an authentic experience. Your Tanzania though is not on a distant continent but rather right here in our own city only one story below sidewalk level hidden from the casual passerby. From the grease stain that can't (or maybe could if you cleaned the thing) be removed, to the traditional basement cooking rug on which culinary master pieces are created, you have let us get a brief glimpse into what our life would be if we were to purchase this item. I see myself now, wearing only underwear and one filthy tube sock, lying half in and half out of my bed (which is a futon on the floor) and wondering if the once frozen burger that I am about to grill was taken out of the freezer last night or the night before. Once my breakfast has finished cooking I alternate holding the red hot meat in one hand and then the other as I wipe the grease from my hands onto the rug as quickly as possible in order to minimize the burns to my fingers. Making a slurping sound I suck air into my mouth with each bite hoping to cool it and save some skin on the roof of my mouth. I wish longingly that there was even a drop of ketchup remaining in the bottle that lays on my pillow, but alas, that ship has sailed long ago. Does George know? Does he think that we are all grilling $35 t-bone steaks with all the fixings? Is he naive, or maybe he just doesn't care? If he were here would he have ketchup? Are there buns in his bedroom? What was I thinking when I decided to do a degree in philosophy? Where were you then George, could you not have put down your over-sized oven mitt for on minute and warned me that this was a bad decision? It's not even that there are no jobs (which is true but not the biggest problem). It is just doing nothing worth while for so long that kills your will for... well for anything. Anyhoo... is the price negotiable.

hi , forget the philosophy degree and become a tongue and cheek have given me the chuckle of the day per the infamous grill.....I am clearing a home for someone and selling off their items....the spot on the grill is 
permanent..??I think...??? you will have to cook around it.....we can make it $10  for your braveness into new adventures in cooking
.....or appliance repairs....let me know if totally interested.....

I'm too sad.

will it cheer you up if we make it 5$?????....cheer up  the glass is always half full.....

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Souvenir Plate: Estonia Tallin - $35

I accept your challenge to a traditional samurai duel. Your swords are of low quality and you will be vanquished. Please specify time and location.