Friday, January 14, 2011

German Cuckoo Clock - $60

German Cuckoo Clock

Guten tag,

Ich saw your ad on Craigslist for the German Cuckoo Clock In the ad you say "not sure if it works but still a nice piece". Well there mien friend I think I can help you out with a diagnostic test here.

Question 1: Does it tell the f*cking time??

If you answered "No" to any of the above questions your clock is not working.

PS: If it doesn't work, it is not "still a nice piece". Get your kopf out of your arsch.

Please let me know if it is still available.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Belaggio Style doors pre-hung - $50

Belaggio Style doors pre-hung

Hi There,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the pre-hung doors
I have been looking around my house and I don't see them.


You heard me.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011



Hi There,

I saw your ad for the AT&T DIGITAL ANSWERING MACHINE BRAND NEW SEALED IN BOX I think it looks really great and modern and I think it is really something that I would use and totally need. I didn't even know that we had digital technology for this now.


is this some sort of a joke or do u want to buy it

Sorry for the late reply I just got back from a Coolio show. Part of the tour he is on promoting his hit song "Gangsta's Paradise".

Anyway, I totally am!!!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

cold steel 1917 naval cutlass - $70

cold steel 1917 naval cutlass

Hi There,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the cold steel 1917 naval cutlass I just have one question about it. WTF were you thinking when you bought a pirate sword? Seriously!


Its not really a pirate sword but i got it cas i thought it looked cool, i need money for school so selling it now, are u interested in buying it though?

Pirate school?

Monday, January 10, 2011

Are you patriotic? Do you love Uncle Sam? - $20

Are you patriotic? Do you love Uncle Sam?

Hello fellow American.

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the "Are you patriotic? Do you love Uncle Sam?" . I am very interested in the cardboard homeless guy you are selling but I am a little concerned. In the ad you say, "If you're patriotic, this is a must". Since you are selling it I guess that means that you are no longer patriotic. What happened? Have you been brain washed by evil doers, or is it our new the socialist government?

I want to help you.

No, I am still patriotic, though I agree with you about our “new socialist government”. I guess it was a poor choice of words, saying it’s a must to have. I will change that. We are downsizing and need to get rid of stuff.

If you’re interested, that’s great. It is wood, though, not cardboard.

I know! Right! It is like living in communist Sweden. "Hey everyone I want you to be able to have health insurance and I don't want to have openly homophobic policy in the armed forces". Anyway, I guess I'm preaching to the choir here. I just feel like popping that wooden thing on my lawn will say to world "This homeless guy on my lawn means I ain't putting up with this anymore!". Maybe that's not what it says. Why is this guy a symbol of my patriotism? I think I've confused myself...

Since you haven't replied I guess that means I convinced you to keep it? Too bad cause I really wanted it.

Yes, it is still on the market is posted on Craigslist. I agree with everything you have said (on the political front), but, as you pointed it, it is preaching to the choir. I am so sick of this government and of what is going on, that I don’t even want to think about it anymore.

Word. One last thing... why is this little guy a symbol of patriotism?

No particular reason. I just think Uncle Sam is patriotic – that’s why I bought him 10
years ago or so (he used to be holding a flag but it fell off - maybe that’s very fitting! It happened after Obama won the White House!! heehee).

TOTALLY!! Obama HATES flags.

Anyhoo, I don't know who your uncle is, but my cousin Troy is super patriotic too. He flew to Alaska just to live closer to Sarah Palin. I should make a wooden statue of him and then we can just trade. What do you think?

I love Sarah Palin, but she’ll never win the White House. Too many people in this country that depend on hand-outs and entitlements.

Ya, why should the winners be paying for the losers. Everyone starts with the same chance to be successful and some people are just lazy and hang around living like kings on welfare. Maybe if they spent a little more time working and a little less time collecting handouts and partying on their yachts we could elect someone like Palin, who is obviously qualified to be the leader of the US.

Anyway, should I send you a picture of Troy?