Thursday, July 30, 2009

Need expert in paranormal extermination - $15

Need expert in paranormal extermination

Hi Gus,

I saw your posting on craig's list saying that you "Need expert in paranormal extermination" . First thing Gus is I just want you to relax, because I can certainly help you out. First of all we need to discuss the difference between myth and reality here.

Your psychic has not given you good advice regarding the vanilla scented candles. Yes that can lure it outside, but that particular scent enzyme will make it harder to catch (marked increase in wispiness). What you should be using is a fruit based scented candle. The mirrors and lead-based mason jars you are using to trap it should be sufficient to trap it for up to 6 hours.

You mentioned that you are thinking of using a proton extrapolator with low frequency sound waves. Although this should work, you have said that you are thinking about making one yourself??? Do not do this, this should be left to the experts. What I propose to do is to use a fast fourier transform coupled with a reblochon to deal with this. What I need you to do is to put on clothing that consists of complementary colors, wash your hands with water and rice and stand by. This little critter can't hurt you. If you then send me your address, I will drive by and affect the fast fourier transform. You should know when this has happened. I will know right away if the reblochon holds. In the mean time just relax and stay away from things made of leather. Let me know if you have any other questions.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

shower chair for disabled or injured - $30

shower chair for disabled or injured

Hi There,

I saw your ad on craigslist for the shower chair for disabled or injured . In your ad you say "I have a used aluminum shower chair which I've been using due to a broken leg." Are you nuts? The last thing a disabled or injured person should be using is a chair with a broken leg. Especially in the shower.

I believe the reason shower chairs were invented was for this purpose. I think a disabled person would rather sit and wash themselves rather than stand. Wouldn't you agree? The medical experts seem to agree with me, if they didn't they probably wouldn't have recommended one. I don't see your reasoning and I don't want to. Unless your interested in purchasing the product please don't message me retardedness.Thanks.

I don't deny that disabled people should be using a chair in the shower. It is just that (by your own admission) you are selling one with a broken leg.

Mickey's Reading & Math Fun Ages 2-6 - $5

Mickey's Reading & Math Fun Ages 2-6

Hi There,

I saw your ad on Craig's List for Mickey's Reading & Math Fun , which reads "Still works good".

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

vintage toilet paper holder UPDATES (They don't like us)

We received a response from the vintage toilet paper holder seller and they're not very impressed with FOCL.
That is what a lot of Craig's List people don't understand: If you buy something and then use it for a while (say 30ish years) it increases in value by about 25%. People are dumb.
PS: Do you wipe your bum in the kitchen or do you microwave in the bathroom?
"Yes" you wipe in the kitchen or microwave in the bathroom?
your an idiot what kind of question is that grow up you loser.

Monday, July 27, 2009

vintage toilet paper holder - $100

vintage toilet paper holder

Hello there,

I saw your ad on Craig's List for the cute vintage toilet paper holder .
You accidentally posted the price as $100, LOL! I was just wondering what the actually asking price is because I really like it.