Friday, January 28, 2011

Vintage Bell Telephone - $40

Vintage Bell Telephone

Hi there,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the Bell telephone In the ad you say that it "would be good as a secondary phone as the ringer doesn't work". So let me get this straight. You are asking $40 for this phone, which is at least 20 years old, is quite dirty, has a freaking rotary dial AND, AND! doesn't even ring. Are you out of your mind you fu....

Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't see that it is "vintage". I love vintage stuff. I am super interested now. Is it still available?

Let me know,

Yes, it is available.......

Thursday, January 27, 2011



Hi there,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the RETRO TABLE LAMPS Although I am not interested in purchasing them I would like to offer you a business opportunity. You see I am a bit of a master when it comes to writing the text for Craigslist ads but I lack the photographic skills that you have. For example, I never would have thought to take a photograph of the lamp in a mirror at a weird angle, although it does make total sense now that I see the photo. I guess that is the only way to get the image so out of focus on some cameras?

So what I am thinking is that we could team up. I would write the copy, and you would handle the photography and presentation. Just to give you a taste of what we could do together here is what I might write to accompany your photo.

light Maker!!!!!!! colour=green sale. Also has mirror.

What do you think, should we team up?


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Bathtub grab bar - $25


I saw your ad for the Bathtub grab bar
It sounds really fun what is the address?

See you there,

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Ikea PELLO Armchair - $40

Ikea PELLO Armchair

Yog fika,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the Ikea PELLO Armchair I am not sure if this is your intention or not, but I thought you should know that "PELLO armchair" loosely translates from Swedish into English as "Rapist's armchair". As you can imagine this is very offensive to Swedish people who may read the advert. Please change the posting and let me know when you have finished.

Good k├Âttbullar to you,

Monday, January 24, 2011

Sponge mop & bucket - $30 (UPDATED)

Sponge mop & bucket

Well hello there,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the used sponge mop & bucket I think it is a super wonderful idea for you you to be selling your old mop and bucket on Craigslist, but in your ad you say "I don't think any explanation is needed!!!". This is where I think I need to disagree. I think you need to explain how in god's name you believe your used sponge mop and bucket are worth 30 bucks. I asked my mop appraiser and she says that a mop like that probably retails for about $15-20 new. So I guess you're saying that wiping up whatever crap you have tracked into your house since you purchased the item has the effect of doubling its value? I am not sure you know how the used cleaning product market works my friend.

I am very interested in the mop, is it still available?

Well miss La Rose,

I appreciate you showing me that I should probably mention that the sponge I used is not included, that's disgusting. This is a refillable mop and the refill has been added to the mop handle. Not that I need to justify anything to you....but I figured your rude and ignorant email deserved to be addressed.

As I mentioned in the ad I hardly used either item, literally twice. I mentioned that because the handle and bucket are like new. Yes, there are definitely items out there similar to this one that are 10-15 dollars. However, both of these particular items were purchased for OVER 30 dollars. Since they were hardly used I figured posting 30 and having people negotiate down is fare...Most of the time you bring the amount down by at least half. So I start higher to give leeway.

I've already had people interested and have organized a fare price for it. Once it's picked up I'll be deleting the ad.

So next time, instead of being an ass I suggest you keep you rude thoughts to yourself.

OK OK apology accepted. So shall we say 7 bucks for the mop and bucket?
Really? after AAALLLLL that, you want it? You must be pulling my leg.

In any case, someone is already planning on picking it up tomorrow night.

How much are they paying?
More then you offered and less then I'm asking.

I'm not even sure why I'm still entertaining your emails.

I'm obviously not going to be selling it to you.


This will be my last email to you.

At this point are you ready to concede that you were wrong about the "I don't think any explanation is needed!!!" part?