Thursday, July 30, 2009

Need expert in paranormal extermination - $15

Need expert in paranormal extermination

Hi Gus,

I saw your posting on craig's list saying that you "Need expert in paranormal extermination" . First thing Gus is I just want you to relax, because I can certainly help you out. First of all we need to discuss the difference between myth and reality here.

Your psychic has not given you good advice regarding the vanilla scented candles. Yes that can lure it outside, but that particular scent enzyme will make it harder to catch (marked increase in wispiness). What you should be using is a fruit based scented candle. The mirrors and lead-based mason jars you are using to trap it should be sufficient to trap it for up to 6 hours.

You mentioned that you are thinking of using a proton extrapolator with low frequency sound waves. Although this should work, you have said that you are thinking about making one yourself??? Do not do this, this should be left to the experts. What I propose to do is to use a fast fourier transform coupled with a reblochon to deal with this. What I need you to do is to put on clothing that consists of complementary colors, wash your hands with water and rice and stand by. This little critter can't hurt you. If you then send me your address, I will drive by and affect the fast fourier transform. You should know when this has happened. I will know right away if the reblochon holds. In the mean time just relax and stay away from things made of leather. Let me know if you have any other questions.

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