Are you patriotic? Do you love Uncle Sam? - $20

Are you patriotic? Do you love Uncle Sam?

Hello fellow American.

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the "Are you patriotic? Do you love Uncle Sam?" . I am very interested in the cardboard homeless guy you are selling but I am a little concerned. In the ad you say, "If you're patriotic, this is a must". Since you are selling it I guess that means that you are no longer patriotic. What happened? Have you been brain washed by evil doers, or is it our new the socialist government?

I want to help you.

Response
No, I am still patriotic, though I agree with you about our “new socialist government”. I guess it was a poor choice of words, saying it’s a must to have. I will change that. We are downsizing and need to get rid of stuff.

If you’re interested, that’s great. It is wood, though, not cardboard.

FOCL
I know! Right! It is like living in communist Sweden. "Hey everyone I want you to be able to have health insurance and I don't want to have openly homophobic policy in the armed forces". Anyway, I guess I'm preaching to the choir here. I just feel like popping that wooden thing on my lawn will say to world "This homeless guy on my lawn means I ain't putting up with this anymore!". Maybe that's not what it says. Why is this guy a symbol of my patriotism? I think I've confused myself...

FOCL
Since you haven't replied I guess that means I convinced you to keep it? Too bad cause I really wanted it.

Response
Yes, it is still on the market is posted on Craigslist. I agree with everything you have said (on the political front), but, as you pointed it, it is preaching to the choir. I am so sick of this government and of what is going on, that I don’t even want to think about it anymore.

FOCL
Word. One last thing... why is this little guy a symbol of patriotism?

Response
No particular reason. I just think Uncle Sam is patriotic – that’s why I bought him 10
years ago or so (he used to be holding a flag but it fell off - maybe that’s very fitting! It happened after Obama won the White House!! heehee).

FOCL
TOTALLY!! Obama HATES flags.

Anyhoo, I don't know who your uncle is, but my cousin Troy is super patriotic too. He flew to Alaska just to live closer to Sarah Palin. I should make a wooden statue of him and then we can just trade. What do you think?

Response
I love Sarah Palin, but she’ll never win the White House. Too many people in this country that depend on hand-outs and entitlements.

FOCL
Ya, why should the winners be paying for the losers. Everyone starts with the same chance to be successful and some people are just lazy and hang around living like kings on welfare. Maybe if they spent a little more time working and a little less time collecting handouts and partying on their yachts we could elect someone like Palin, who is obviously qualified to be the leader of the US.

Anyway, should I send you a picture of Troy?