Are you patriotic? Do you love Uncle Sam? - $20

Are you patriotic? Do you love Uncle Sam?

Hello fellow American.

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the "Are you patriotic? Do you love Uncle Sam?" . I am very interested in the cardboard homeless guy you are selling but I am a little concerned. In the ad you say, "If you're patriotic, this is a must". Since you are selling it I guess that means that you are no longer patriotic. What happened? Have you been brain washed by evil doers, or is it our new the socialist government?

I want to help you.

Response
No, I am still patriotic, though I agree with you about our “new socialist government”. I guess it was a poor choice of words, saying it’s a must to have. I will change that. We are downsizing and need to get rid of stuff.

If you’re interested, that’s great. It is wood, though, not cardboard.

FOCL
I know! Right! It is like living in communist Sweden. "Hey everyone I want you to be able to have health insurance and I don't want to have openly homophobic policy in the armed forces". Anyway, I guess I'm preaching to the choir here. I just feel like popping that wooden thing on my lawn will say to world "This homeless guy on my lawn means I ain't putting up with this anymore!". Maybe that's not what it says. Why is this guy a symbol of my patriotism? I think I've confused myself...

FOCL
Since you haven't replied I guess that means I convinced you to keep it? Too bad cause I really wanted it.

Response
Yes, it is still on the market is posted on Craigslist. I agree with everything you have said (on the political front), but, as you pointed it, it is preaching to the choir. I am so sick of this government and of what is going on, that I don’t even want to think about it anymore.

FOCL
Word. One last thing... why is this little guy a symbol of patriotism?

Response
No particular reason. I just think Uncle Sam is patriotic – that’s why I bought him 10
years ago or so (he used to be holding a flag but it fell off - maybe that’s very fitting! It happened after Obama won the White House!! heehee).

FOCL
TOTALLY!! Obama HATES flags.

Anyhoo, I don't know who your uncle is, but my cousin Troy is super patriotic too. He flew to Alaska just to live closer to Sarah Palin. I should make a wooden statue of him and then we can just trade. What do you think?

Response
I love Sarah Palin, but she’ll never win the White House. Too many people in this country that depend on hand-outs and entitlements.

FOCL
Ya, why should the winners be paying for the losers. Everyone starts with the same chance to be successful and some people are just lazy and hang around living like kings on welfare. Maybe if they spent a little more time working and a little less time collecting handouts and partying on their yachts we could elect someone like Palin, who is obviously qualified to be the leader of the US.

Anyway, should I send you a picture of Troy?

Scenic Antler Sculpture - $16

Scenic Antler Sculpture

Hi there nature lover.

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the Scenic Antler Sculpture http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/hsh/2142504721.html. In your ad you say, "From the heart of a cleverly fashioned replica antler, an intrinctly carved panel depicts a moose and his mate as they traverse a tranquil forest glen".

Don't you worry that displaying this will send a message to the other mooses that it is ok for them to choose this type of lifestyle? Next thing you know they will want to get married and then there goes the sanctity of traditional moose marriage.

Ya know?

Shhh...The Garden is Sleeping Garden Stone and Key Hider - $7

Shhh...The Garden is Sleeping Garden Stone and Key Hider

Well hi there.

I saw you ad on Craigslist entitled "Shhh...The Garden is Sleeping Garden Stone and Key Hider" http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/hsh/2142414141.html. I was wondering if you have other fake rocks to hide keys in that have different inscriptions that make as much sense as "Shhh...The Garden is Sleeping"? Maybe "Arrgg... my foot is a librarian" or "Whaaa... gravity is dark blue"? Anyways, let me know.

Thanks,

the professor dish

the professor dish

Hi there,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for "the professor dish" http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/hsh/2140736753.html. Your ad reads in its entirety: "the professor dish edwin m knowles is in excellent condition. all authentic paper work in it. numbered as well. " and has no picture.

I just wanted to say that you are magically gifted at painting a mental picture and that it is abundantly clear what you are selling. Some people would have just stopped at "the professor dish" but you went the extra mile to ensure that we knew what we would be getting.

Kudos!

Stool - $19

Stool

Hi there,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for "Stool" http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/hsh/2139587321.html. I was wondering if you could describe it a little better? Colour, texture, is it solid etc...

Thanks.

Response
It appears to be leather. A dark greeny, black, brown colour. Pretty solid but has a bit of squish to it. What else do you want to know?

Cheers

FOCL
Greeny? Is it your stool, and if so do you maintain a reasonably healthy diet?

Response
Bahahahha.

Nice.

Krups coffee maker - $10

Krups coffee maker

Hi There,

I saw your ad on Craigslist entitled "Krups coffee maker" http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/hsh/1695890153.html .

How many krups of coffee does it make?

FISHER PRICE Medical Kit - $25

FISHER PRICE Medical Kit

FOCL
Hi There,

I saw your ad for the FISHER PRICE Medical Kit http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/clt/1694969358.html. It looks really nice in the picture. I am just wondering if that is the photo of the actual one you have or if you did what so many people do, which is to take a photo from the CCM Clock Radio catalogue to make their item look better.

Either way I am super interested.

Response
It's my own photo and it's in excellent condition.

FOCL
I guess in a medical emergency you don't want to oversleep, but does that really make it a medical kit?