Hi There, 

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the Ikea Desk for $80. You mention that it is solid birch however this is not the case. Here is a link to the desk you are selling as you will see it is not solid birch and sells new for $39.99. So I just have a few questions: 

1) Why are you such a liar?

2) Would you accept $60?

3) Where can I pick it up?

Thanks!

Response

Any evening between 6:30 PM and 8:30 Pm will be fine with us.

Our final price will be $60.

FOCL

Tough call. I guess I have to decide if "a few minor scratches" increases the value of something by 50%. I guess it does, right?

OK I’m in. Can we meet at an Ikea? 

Hellmann's Mayonnaise - $3

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the Hellmann's Mayonnaise for $3. I guess I am kidding myself to think that there is a chance that it is still available, BUT... if it is I am obviously interested. I am (and I'm sure most people are) always interested in reducing my condiment costs, for example this month I have spend over two dollars on ketchup alone. I can't think of a better way to chip away at my mayo overhead than to purchase it from someone online at a slightly reduced price. Just to be sure that this isn't some sort of scam, could you please let me know a little bit about yourself and your mayonnaise? I have just a few questions:

1) How is it that you are in a position to sell such a high end mayonnaise at this mildly reduced price?

2) Are you a Hellmann?

3) How long have you had the mayonnaise?

4) How has the mayonnaise been stored (temperature, lighting conditions, humidity, etc.)?

5) Why don't you just rip the last half paper towel off the roll and put the full roll that is sitting right there on the holder?

6) In your ad you mention that it is "Great Shape!!!!", I would say from the photographs that it seems like it is at best in "Great Shape!!", could you just summarize a little bit the method you used to evaluate the mayonnaise's condition?

7) Is the price negotiable?

Thank you.

Rosie

Response

yes, still have--do you want?????--when you come.

FOCL

Ya... 

So I believe I asked you a few questions...

Response

still have, do you still want--when you come--still good.

FOCL

Please answer my questions.

Response

still have, & still great shape----kept in cuppabard---not in fridge--never, ever been opened, or used--do u still want--

FOCL

I see you are skilled at the art of negotiation. Would you be willing to accept one dollar?

Response

you want it for $2.00???????

Paid like $5.00 for it---make me a offer--

think that $3.00 IS good, after paid $5.00---don't you??????

FOCL

No I think $1.00 is good. $1.25 would also be good. You don’t think you are the only show in town do you? Craigslist is FULL of people unloading their surplus condiments. 

High-End Rugs x 2 - $1000 - UPDATED

Hi There,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the High-End Rugs x 2. After examining the one low quality picture you have posted of only one of the rugs (which appears to maybe have tire marks on it?) I have decided to purchase both rugs for the full asking price of $1000. Please let me know the best way to get your money to you.

Sincerely,

Rosie.

Response

It's not tire marks, just the pattern. Looks like new when vacuumed.

The second one that I didn't put a pic of yet is like new, in a room we don't use.

They're about $1200 each new. Not selling both for $1000, that is each.

If you're really interested, come take a look at them Sun afternoon, and I'll make you a deal for both.

You can have both for $1400.

Call or text me at 416 xxx xxxx

 Thanks

FOCL

Ya I hear you. I'm not going to break out the vacuum just for a couple grand either. I trust that they look better when vacuumed. 

Also, the other one is in a room that is so unused that you aren't even allowed to take a picture of it?? 

Response

We just forgot. It's like new. We're selling hundreds of things.

Just come by and look instead of emailing me these comments.

I'm showing items this afternoon.

Call or text 426 xxx xxxx

 Thanks

FOCL

Forgot to vacuum? Forgot to take a picture? Forgot to use that room?

Response

Forgot to buy rugs somewhere else.

FOCL

What are you talking about?

Response

Oh, and here's the new one you're not getting genius.

FOCL
Oh my. That one really is beautiful. How much is it?

Response

$1600 for both. Email if interested.

FOCL

Interested! I thought it was $1400 for both.

Response

Was, but I changed my mind.

I can get a grand for the new one easily.

I can meet Wed eve. Let me know.

Are you able to transport them?

And with this kind of money, we'll be meeting in a police station parking lot.

FOCL

Good call you can never be too safe. Wouldn’t want me to steal… my money?? 

Response

You're not too bright eh?

How about you try to rob me for $1600 of rugs? In the news all the time.

You bug me with your retarded comments.

Don't think I want to sell to you.

FOCL

I’m sorry I don’t mean to upset you, I really like you and your rugs. Unless... when you say “retarded comments” you mean that I am taking too long to respond?? 

Anyway, do people really get robbed for rugs all the time? That’s terrifying!

Fax Machine - $25

Fax Machine

Hi there,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the Fax Machine http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/rds/hsh/2307594248.html. You mention that it comes with extra paper rolls. YOU MENTION THAT IT COMES WITH EXTRA PAPER ROLLS! You are selling a fax machine that takes paper rolls (or trying to at least). Here's what I want you to do: After reading this email and going home from the library computers, I want you to go over to a mirror and look into it and say: "I am trying to sell a fax machine that takes paper rolls." If you didn't hear yourself you should turn down Huey Lewis's album Sports and repeat this until you realize that it is 2011.

Just kidding. It sounds great. Is the price negotiable?

coffee grinder - doesn't work

coffee grinder - doesn't work

Hi there,

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the coffee grinder -- doesn't work http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/rds/zip/2303980532.html. You have it listed in the free stuff section. I am OBVIOUSLY interested in it since you mention that it "worked perfectly, until it quit", but I feel bad taking it for free. I was thinking that I could offer you something of equal value. Let me think... I've got it. Why don't you come all the way across town and remove some of the garbage from MY house? That way it is fair. I was thinking maybe the pile of discarded Kraft Singles wrappers I have next to my bed. What do you think?

Just kidding of course. When can I come get this little gem?

Sleeping bag - $35

Hi There,

I saw your ad on craigslist for the sleeping bag http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/bra/hsh/2234419129.html. I am very interested in it but I am a little bit concerned. You see, when I was in grade school sometimes there would be a situation in which one kid (we'll call him kid A) would say to another kid (call him kid B) "Do you have a sleeping bag?". Kid B often would own a sleeping bag and therefore would respond "Yes I do." At this point kid A would kick kid B in the testicles while saying "Well let me wake it up for you". How can I be assured that I will not be getting into a similar situation.

Look forward to your response,

Ziploc ( SANDWICH) 100 BAGS - $5

Ziploc ( SANDWICH) 100 BAGS

Hi There,

I saw your ad on Craig's List for the box of 100 Ziplock bags for $5.00 http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/bra/hsh/2230042806.html. I would like to congratulate you on your understanding of Criag's List. Craig's List is for buying things from strangers for approximately their full retail value. The point is not to get a good deal but rather to experience the joys of taking public transit across town and making a transaction with someone who would not dream of just giving away, using or selling at a discounted price, their box of sandwich bags. These are the people I want to meet. How about we meet somewhere mutually inconvenient for both of us? Maybe the final stop on one of the subway lines?

Again, congratulations on using Craig's List appropriately. Hats off to you.