Friday, March 6, 2009

Pet stroller (new condition) - $45

Pet stroller (new condition)

Hi there,

I saw your ad on Craig's List for the pet stroller http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/bra/for/1062259952.html . I am very interested in putting my dog in a stroller because sometimes when I am out walking him I pass people who don't think that I am a lunatic.

Could you please send me a picture?

Cheers,

Response (we're not making this up)

Hello,

I can get you a pic in a day or two if you can hang in there.

Best regards,

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Pooper Catcher 5.0 -- Tutorial




Pooper Catcher 5.0 -- Tutorial

Hello,

I saw your advertisement for the Poop Catcher 5.0 on Craig's List. I then went to your website and saw the description of your product and the tutorial for its use http://www.poopercatcher.com/index.cfm?id=5480&fuseaction=browse&pageid=38 . It is clear that this idea was stolen from me. All you have done is taken an idea which I already had, and added a stick to it. I have included a photo from your tutorial and also a photo from the same step in the tutorial on my website. Please cease and desist immediately so I do not need to contact my legal team.

Thank you.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Kidney

Kidney

Hi,

I saw your ad on craig's list which read "Healthy male 37 y.o. able to help a person with need of a healty kidney for help in exchange." http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/for/1047363280.html .

I was just wondering what type of help you will require in exchange. I can offer help moving, for example if whatever you need to move will fit in my Prius?

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Experienced litigator willing to barter services for a good van


Experienced litigator willing to barter services for a good van

Hi,

I saw your ad on Criag's List offering your litigation services in exchange for a van https://owa016.msoutlookonline.net/owa/redir.aspx?C=4a58c2b647b54ec28fcbd27db63210c4&URL=http%3a%2f%2fnewyork.craigslist.org%2fmnh%2fbar%2f1052774876.html . What a great idea!

To answer your questions:

i) The van is a 2007 Toyota Prius with 18k miles; and

ii) my legal problems are that I am being charged with stealing a 2007 Toyota Prius.

Please let me know if you would prefer another type of van. I hope we can work something out.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Complete set of Knives and 2 Bow and Arrows


Complete set of Knives and 2 Bow and Arrows

Hi,

I saw your ad on craig's list for the knives and bows http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/for/1048758719.html . I think that this is the type of set that I am looking for, since I am frequently attacked by video game dragons.

Does it come with any spells?

Thursday, February 26, 2009

We learn more about Quantum Biofeedback


(Our emails are marked "FOCL", theirs "SCQB")

SCQB
Thank-you for your inquiry. I think we might be able to help you. I can design a protocol specifically for "writer's block". Its probably best if you call me and I can answer any questions you might have.

FOCL
Hi Dr.

Right now I am not able to call because I am in Switzerland for a couple of weeks, but I do live in Toronto. I guess I was just wondering how this system works. I guess you use some kind of machine. Does this machine use electricity or something else? How does it work on something like a whole person? I always thought that quantum physics was for very small things, like atoms or clarks.

SCQB
There are 5 different contact points that we attach the system to -- the head, the wrists and ankles. Yes, the system appears to run on electricity....there is a device called the SCIO which is attached to a laptop computer. The rubber straps come out of the SCIO. I say it appears to run on electricity because the voltage is almost undetectable and therefore non-invasive to the body. In a 3 minute test it sends out 10,000 beneficial homeopathic frequencies. The body has an incredible intelligence and will absorb what it needs. Therefore, if the frequency of (for example) vitamin C doesn't come back to the computer in a full loop then we know the body has absorbed this energy and is deficient in this nutrient. Does this make sense?

Quantum Biofeedback really utilizes quantum energy which much more subtle and natural than the energy we call electricity. It is the energy that is all around us. The system is very advanced. That being said, it is FDA approved and recognized by Health Canada as a medical device.

I hope I have answered your questions.

Blessings to you,

PS I appreciate the compliment title of doctor, but as you know I am not a medical doctor. I'm a Certified Biofeedback Technician, Reiki Master and soon to become Registered Holistic Nutritionist.

FOCL
OK that sounds great. I am surprised to hear that there are 10000 vitamin frequencies, I thought there were just a few, A,B,B7,E the usual ones.

Anyway I just saw that you offer Distance Therapy! http://www.vibrancy.ca/distant_therapy.html That is amazing. But could it work as far away as Switzerland?Also on your website it says:

"Because of the nature of energetic therapy, it is also very effective when done at a distance. If you wonder how this works, think of your cell phone. It has a specific number or "frequency" that rings when it is called. There are no wires or visible connections.Your body also has a very specific frequency. After obtaining and inputting specific information that we gather from you (such as your address and date/place of birth), we can connect with you vibrationally, on what we call a "subspace" level. This can only be done effectively when you have asked for the distant session and are open to it."

This is really great idea but here is my concern: Once you guys have my frequency you can help me out by sending the waves and then I will pick them up. But, you then will have a record of personal frequency and what is stopping you then from controlling me with it? I could be anywhere in the world and there is nothing I could do. But I guess I can trust you?

Anyway, how much info do you need in order to get my frequency? Just address and date/place of birth?

Cheers

PS: I don't have a paypal account do you accept credit cards?