Hellmann's Mayonnaise - $3

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the Hellmann's Mayonnaise for $3. I guess I am kidding myself to think that there is a chance that it is still available, BUT... if it is I am obviously interested. I am (and I'm sure most people are) always interested in reducing my condiment costs, for example this month I have spend over two dollars on ketchup alone. I can't think of a better way to chip away at my mayo overhead than to purchase it from someone online at a slightly reduced price. Just to be sure that this isn't some sort of scam, could you please let me know a little bit about yourself and your mayonnaise? I have just a few questions:

1) How is it that you are in a position to sell such a high end mayonnaise at this mildly reduced price?

2) Are you a Hellmann?

3) How long have you had the mayonnaise?

4) How has the mayonnaise been stored (temperature, lighting conditions, humidity, etc.)?

5) Why don't you just rip the last half paper towel off the roll and put the full roll that is sitting right there on the holder?

6) In your ad you mention that it is "Great Shape!!!!", I would say from the photographs that it seems like it is at best in "Great Shape!!", could you just summarize a little bit the method you used to evaluate the mayonnaise's condition?

7) Is the price negotiable?

Thank you.

Rosie

Response

yes, still have--do you want?????--when you come.

FOCL

Ya... 

So I believe I asked you a few questions...

Response

still have, do you still want--when you come--still good.

FOCL

Please answer my questions.

Response

still have, & still great shape----kept in cuppabard---not in fridge--never, ever been opened, or used--do u still want--

FOCL

I see you are skilled at the art of negotiation. Would you be willing to accept one dollar?

Response

you want it for $2.00???????

Paid like $5.00 for it---make me a offer--

think that $3.00 IS good, after paid $5.00---don't you??????

FOCL

No I think $1.00 is good. $1.25 would also be good. You don’t think you are the only show in town do you? Craigslist is FULL of people unloading their surplus condiments.